A Change Is Gonna Come by Mary Bello, et al

Featuring top Young Adult authors alongside a host of exciting new talent, this anthology of stories and poetry from BAME writers on the theme of change is a long-overdue addition to the YA scene. Contributors include Tanya Byrne, Inua Ellams, Catherine Johnson, Patrice Lawrence, Ayisha Malik, Irfan Master, Musa Okwonga and Nikesh Shukla.

Plus introducing four fresh new voices in YA fiction: Mary Bello, Aisha Bushby, Yasmin Rahman and Phoebe Roy.

I always find it difficult to review an anthology, because there are lots of little stories in these pages and all of them were incredible. 

Not only did this introduce me to lots of great new authors, it also spanned a range of very different types of stories, from fantasy to contemporary, romance to poems and everything in between. I really enjoyed all of them, with girls learning about refugees, finding first love and acceptance, overcoming anxiety and battling friends about racism, all the stories covered change and how scary it is sometimes.

Like I said, there were lots of different topics discussed, not just race and diversity - things like OCD and anxiety, empathy, love and being true to yourself. I think this whole anthology is incredibly important to see different stories, different experiences in print, and what it means to want change, whatever scale it's in. 

Published 10th August 2017 by Stripes Publishing. Thank you to the publisher and Netgalley for my copy in exchange for an honest review.

The State of Grace by Rachael Lucas

Sometimes I feel like everyone else was handed a copy of the rules for life and mine got lost.

Grace has Asperger's and her own way of looking at the world. She's got a horse and a best friend who understand her, and that's pretty much all she needs. But when Grace kisses Gabe and things start to change at home, the world doesn't make much sense to her any more. 

Suddenly everything threatens to fall apart, and it's up to Grace to fix it on her own.

Grace has had to learn on her feet, struggling through life and its ever-changing rules, when her autism means she sees and is affected by things very differently. She also can't pick up social cues, which is a typical autistic trait, so when things happened (like her mum's sudden need to have a life outside of home, her little sister acting weird with her best friend), they seemed to happen with no warning and Grace struggled to deal with it. 

Personally, I think this was very apt; from my experience dating someone with autism, they don't think about anyone outside their little bubble - my fiancé once explained it to me that once I'm not in the vicinity of him anymore, it's as if I cease to exist, he just doesn't think about me (that was years ago, so I'm not longer insulted!). 

Grace was such an amazing character - she was used to being defined by her autism and just desperately wanted to fit in, to be ignored by the mean girls that tease her. She also had an incredible friendship with Anna, who used to her quirks and knew not to push her. Anna was a calming and steady influence when everything else seemed to be falling around her, and for that Grace was very grateful. 

Now, the romance. I really liked them, it was real and endearing. Gabe was her first crush, it's adorable and new, but he just seemed a bit meh. Maybe because they were all 15 and nothing happened to them yet... But it was sweet and a little bit funny to see how Grace dealt with having someone new in her life. 

I had a lovely chat with Rachael at YALC about communicating with autistic people, as I've had 10 years with one of them and I'm still learning! What I loved and especially appreciated about this story, and I told Rachael this, was how realistic the autistic voice seemed to me. This is exactly how my fiancé acted when we were teenagers, still does a bit now, and having a protagonist with autism will explain the spectrum to a much larger audience.

Published 6th April 2017 by Macmillan Children's. 

The Upside of Unrequited by Becky Albertalli

Seventeen-year-old Molly Peskin-Suso knows all about unrequited love-she's lived through it twenty-six times. She crushes hard and crushes often, but always in secret. Because no matter how many times her twin sister, Cassie, tells her to woman up, Molly can't stomach the idea of rejection. So she's careful. Fat girls always have to be careful.

Then a cute new girl enters Cassie's orbit, and for the first time ever, Molly's cynical twin is a lovesick mess. Meanwhile, Molly's totally not dying of loneliness-except for the part where she is.

Luckily, Cassie's new girlfriend comes with a cute hipster-boy sidekick. Will is funny, flirtatious, and just might be perfect crush material. Maybe more than crush material. And if Molly can win him over, she'll get her first kiss and she'll get her twin back.

There's only one problem: Molly's coworker, Reid. He's an awkward Tolkien superfan, and there's absolutely no way Molly could fall for him. Right?

I loved her first book, and this was just as funny and as diverse, and I loved it. We are dropped right into Molly's world of weirdness, with her much braver twin sister, her supportive mums, her best friends and her new job that puts her in the path of Reid. 

I saw so much of myself in Molly - maybe not so much in the ridiculous amount of crushes, but definitely the fear of putting yourself out there and being the complete opposite of confident with your body. Molly has had a total of 26 crushes, spanning the years and the types, but it's only now that she thinks maybe she could put herself out there and actually tell them she likes them. 

So the love interests. Technically we met Will first but as he was the friend of the girl Molly was pushing towards her twin Cassie, all Molly noticed was he was hipster hot. Then we met Reid, the geeky and sweet boy who works in the shop with her. I was rooting for Reid from the get-go. Molly never really seemed all that interested in Will, it was more like an acknowledgement that he was attractive. Not to mention there was plenty of mixed messages with Will, between being too drunk or too worried.

When Cassie gets together with Mina, not only is it super adorable, but it also marks the end of an era with Molly and Cassie. They have always been each other's first call but this is the sucky part of growing up, that it's not like it was when you're young; first loves and getting older changes the relationships you have, especially with siblings and parents. And it did take some adjusting but Molly's anxiety makes her see things as worse than they are, so there is some harsh and bitter fights for a time. Ah, family.

Now, I can't not mention all of the diversity! Multiple homosexual characters, pansexual love interest (for Cassie), anxious protagonist (who happened to be fat and love food - but no body shaming!), black characters, bisexual characters, Jewish characters - and then a same-sex wedding! All of this squished just effortlessly into a heartwarming coming of age story that also discusses love, sex, feminism, inequality with racism and sexism, and mental health. A great story that has just about everything, and one that has sky-rocketed to the top of my favourites. 

Published 11th April 2017 by Penguin. Thank you to the publisher and Netgalley for my copy in exchange for an honest review.

A Quiet Kind of Thunder by Sara Barnard

Steffi doesn't talk, but she has so much to say.
Rhys can't hear, but he can listen.
Their love isn't a lightning strike, it's the rumbling roll of thunder.

Steffi has been a selective mute for most of her life - she's been silent for so long that she feels completely invisible. But Rhys, the new boy at school, sees her. He's deaf, and her knowledge of basic sign language means that she's  to look after him. To Rhys, it doesn't matter that Steffi doesn't talk, and as they find ways to communicate, Steffi finds that she does have a voice, and that she's falling in love with the one person who makes her feel brave enough to use it. 

I adored Sara's first book so was very much looking forward to this. Plus I cannot resist a contemporary romance!

This is one of my new favourite love stories; it built slowly, the two of them starting as friends and getting to know each other, overcoming the awkward shyness of admitting feelings and a first kiss. It was all just so damn cute! It also had such an interesting set of characters, from Steffi and her selective mutism, her chronic shyness and anxiety, to Rhys and his deafness and his adorable confidence. The story dealt with a lot more than just first love. 

Another thing I absolutely loved was the depiction of an incredible support system, for both of them. Steffi had her dad, her mum didn't always know what to say but loved her anyway, and her best friend Tem was her complete opposite but they complimented each other. Rhys had an amazing family, and his old school friends all knew exactly what he had to go through every day because they dealt with the same. As we get to know both of them, it becomes clear that without meaning to, Steffi and Rhys push the other to be better, for themselves and for each other. I think that is what makes great relationships, wanting to be better for your partner but because you know it's the best thing for you. 

Can you tell yet just how much I loved this? Because I really did! I had a massive grin on my face for most of the book! I think it was perfect in its imperfections because life doesn't always go the way you want it to, but if you care about someone then you have the support to do better. 

Published 12th January 2017 by Macmillan Children's Books. Thank you to the publisher and Netgalley for my copy in exchange for an honest review.

Holding Up The Universe by Jennifer Niven

Everyone thinks they know Libby Strout, the girl once dubbed 'America's Fattest Teen'. But no one's taken the time to look past her weight to get to see who she really is. Since her mum's death, she's been picking up the pieces in the privacy of her home, dealing with her heartbroken father and her own grief. Now, Libby's ready: for high school, for new friends, for love, and for EVERY POSSIBILITY LIFE HAS TO OFFER. I know the part I want to play here at MVB High. I want to be the girl who can do anything.

Everyone thinks they know Jack Masselin too. Yes, he's got swagger, but he's also mastered the art of fitting in. What no one knows is that Jack has a secret: he can't recognize faces. Even his own brothers are strangers to him. He's the guy who can re-engineer and rebuild anything, but he can't understand what's going on with the inner workings of his own brain. So he tells himself to play it cool: Be charming. Be hilarious. Don't get too close to anyone.

Until he meets Libby. When the two get tangled up in a cruel high school game which lands them in group counseling, Libby and Jack are both angry, and then surprised. Because the more time they spend together, the less alone they feel. Because sometimes when you meet someone, it changes the world - theirs and yours.

I love a good romantic contemporary with a twist, and this one had that twist and did it wonderfully. Here are two people that could not be more different on the surface but both have hidden depths, fears and hopes that they can't share with anyone else. And all it took was a punch in the face to bring them together! 

First off, it was really interesting to see a different perspective with Jack's prosopagnosia - something that isn't seen very often in a lot of media but is apparently more common than autism. Jack's narrative was all kinds of adorable and nervous; he had this innate confidence about him but he couldn't recognise anyone. Even in his own home, it was 'the woman who is probably my mum'. Which is daft because I can tell who is coming up the stairs with my eyes closed (my dad has particularly heavy footsteps) but I can see his point: he doesn't see people for their faces but their characteristics, their attitudes, even their hair styles, and that must be very difficult. 

Libby, I immediately loved - I could completely understand her grief and how her hurt warped her relationship with food. It all just sucked but she had managed to turn it around and had come so far, she was just incredibly brave for facing her demons. 

Jack I took a bit longer to warm to - he had a swagger about him that was proper cool but also a a distraction and defensive mechanism. That brave face he put on did nothing to warm me to him, as that was its purpose: to prove to the outside world he was normal, really, but all it did was distract from his insecurities. With Libby, her insecurities were obvious and her brave face was different, she almost played up to them, to show her bullies that they couldn't hurt her.

Even though I had my little issues with it, Niven has once again knocked it out of the park and given a greatly realistic love story while bridging the gap between obvious differences.

Published 6th October 2016 by Penguin. Thank you to the publisher and Netgalley for my copy in exchange for an honest review.

Under Rose Tainted Skies by Louise Gornall

Agoraphobia confines Norah to the house she shares with her mother.

For her, the outside is sky glimpsed through glass, or a gauntlet to run between home and car. But a chance encounter on the doorstep changes everything: Luke, her new neighbour. Norah is determined to be the girl she thinks Luke deserves: a ‘normal’ girl, her skies unfiltered by the lens of mental illness. Instead, her love and bravery opens a window to unexpected truths …

An important and uplifting debut from a British author, which tackles mental health issues such as agoraphobia and OCD.

I do love a good portrayal of mental health issues and this story was already being raved about before publication, so I knew I had to get my hands on it. Right from the start, we get to experience life through Norah's eyes, terrified by the vastness of the space outside her house, her OCD and anxiety when things don't go the way she expected them to. I instantly fell in love with her voice, it was so honest and heartbreaking, as Norah desperately wanted to be better but was being held hostage by her brain. 

Invisible illnesses can be very difficult to understand and Norah's explanations to how she feels things the way she does, how she will take comfort in the little things she can control but spiral into panic when she can't, was equal parts fascinating and terrifying. Now, I have very little experience with mental health; I have what I would consider fairly normal panic about fears like heights and slipping on ice, and my fiance has Asperger's Syndrome, so I don't know what it's like to feel as if you're being betrayed by your own body. But being inside Norah's head brought all of her fears, her panic and anxiety, her personal issues to the forefront, talking about dealing with these issues honestly and so eloquently. 

Of course there has to be a love interest, something that changes to bring Norah's anxiety to a hilt and force her to change. What I liked about this, well a few things but specifically how Norah's issues didn't just disappear, she had to struggle and learn how to deal with another person in her life. I also really appreciated Luke being human; it was obvious he wanted to know Norah but it is difficult to know how to deal with such a huge illness when you haven't done so before. But he respected her boundaries and only wanted what was best for her, and that was all kinds of adorable.

This is one of those books that stick with you after you've finished. It was such a brilliant portrayal of mental health, especially anxiety and agoraphobia, which isn't tackled in many books, and I thought Gornall did an incredible job in describing the fear, anger and whirlwind of Norah's struggles and eventual progress to recovery. 

Published 7th July 2016 by Chicken House.

When We Collided by Emery Lord

Meet Vivi and Jonah: A girl and a boy whose love has the power save or destroy them.

Vivi and Jonah couldn't be more different. Vivi craves anything joyful or beautiful that life can offer. Jonah has been burdened by responsibility for his family ever since his father died. As summer begins, Jonah resigns himself to another season of getting by. Then Vivi arrives, and suddenly life seems brighter and better. Jonah is the perfect project for Vivi, and things finally feel right for Jonah. Their love is the answer to everything. But soon Vivi's zest for life falters, as her adventurousness becomes true danger-seeking. Jonah tries to keep her safe, but there's something important Vivi hasn't told him.

Vivi is new in town and just blows into Jonah's life, taking over creative outlets, helping with the kids, bringing Jonah out of his shell. We immediately see Vivi throwing pills into the sea so there's a hint of something wrong but nothing is revealed. As for Jonah, again there's something immediately off with his family life but it takes a while for him to open up.

Jonah has lost his father, his mother won't/can't get out of bed, and that leaves six kids fending for themselves as best they can. As much as it hurt to see this, I could understand the complexity. I mean, it's not like the mother wants to abandon her children but depression is funny like that. And by "funny" I mean annoying and strange as hell!

I liked how no one's life was perfect. Sure, bipolar and grief and depression are a lot and a little extreme but the point is that everyone has their secrets, their dark sides and that's nothing new. Speaking of, there were brilliant portrayals of bipolar behaviour. Vivi was her own hurricane of emotions, manic and creative but nuts with her priorities and time keeping and... balance I guess, which is the point. Throughout the book, Vivi explicitly says that she doesn't like the label of bipolar disorder and definitely doesn't like the pills that dulls her senses. We see her spiral out of control and it broke my heart to see her so unfocused and literally manic, especially by the end. I liked how it wasn't specifically saying that drugs are the answer but they can help even out your brain chemicals. 

All in all, a proper knockout of a book and definitely worth all the hype surrounding it. The mental health stuff was very important and balanced nicely with their characters and the romance. Which I did adore; as different as they seemed, Vivi and Jonah was utterly adorable together and evened each other out. 

Published 7th April 2016 by Bloomsbury.

Fans of the Impossible Life by Kate Scelsa

This is the story of a girl, her gay best friend, and the boy in love with both of them.

Ten months after her recurring depression landed her in the hospital, Mira is starting over as a new student at Saint Francis Prep. She promised her parents she would at least try to act like a normal, functioning human this time around, not a girl who sometimes can’t get out of bed for days on end, who only feels awake when she’s with Sebby. 

Jeremy is the painfully shy art nerd at Saint Francis who’s been in self-imposed isolation after an incident that ruined his last year of school. When he sees Sebby for the first time across the school lawn it’s as if he’s been expecting this blond, lanky boy with a mischievous glint in his eye. 

Sebby, Mira’s gay best friend, is a boy who seems to carry sunlight around with him like a backlit halo. Even as life in his foster home starts to take its toll, Sebby and Mira together craft a world of magic rituals and secret road trips, designed to fix the broken parts of their lives. 

As Jeremy finds himself drawn into Sebby and Mira’s world, he begins to understand the secrets that they hide in order to protect themselves, to keep each other safe from those who don’t understand their quest to live for the impossible.

Very much like Eleanor and Park or I'll Give You The Sun, this novel explored lots of teenage weirdness, from depression to sexuality. So Mira is the new girl at Jeremy's school, and as Jeremy comes out of his shell, he quickly grows close to her and Sebby and their way of protecting themselves from the boring and ordinary.

Let's start with Sebby. He's is a foster kid, growing up in a group home. He's also mostly gay and poor and has sticky fingers and hands out sexual favours in the toilets of a mall. Despite that shocking revelation, he was really sweet and complicated; it was obvious he had plenty of issues but for the most part, really wanted to get better, get a better life. Best friend Mira has serious depression issues; after an attempt to take her life landed her in the hospital and the psych ward, she takes refuge in the magical, the almost-impossible, the wishes for extraordinary.

Jeremy has been horrible bullied for having two dads and for being gay. Not that is a truth he's admitted to himself but it was gratified on his locker and he suffered many a hurtful comment. So when Mira and Sebby welcome him into their magical world of escapism, he is happy for the change, for some true friends. Told from all three perspectives, you see inside their heads, attempt to make sense of their actions and feelings. It was brutally honest; as I've already mentioned, it talks about sex, sexuality, self-harm, alcoholism to name but a few, but sometimes I thought it was trying to be so out there, there was no normal left, nothing recognisable. All in all, a great commentary on the truly tough issues for teens alongside the fairly normal stuff of finding yourself and real friendship. 

Published 10th September 2015 by Macmillan Childrens. Thank you to the publisher and Netgalley for my copy in exchange for an honest review.

Am I Normal Yet? by Holly Bourne

All Evie wants is to be normal. She’s almost off her meds and at a new college where no one knows her as the girl-who-went-crazy. She’s even going to parties and making friends. There’s only one thing left to tick off her list…

But relationships are messy – especially relationships with teenage guys. They can make any girl feel like they’re going mad. And if Evie can’t even tell her new friends Amber and Lottie the truth about herself, how will she cope when she falls in love?

First and foremost, this was an excellent portrayal of anxiety disorders, with the everyday difficulties, the annoyance of other people's reactions or lack of understanding or over-sympathetic behaviour. All of this is what Evie has to deal with, both at home and at college. 

Evie was brilliant. She was terrified of lapsing but when things became too difficult for her, she developed another sort of OCD to try and bring order to her tumbling life. She desperately wanted to get better but had to learn that she couldn't go through it along. Her parents also had some things to learn; I'm fairly certain her mother, for example, was undiagnosed OCD and dealing with Evie was something that she struggled with, especially if Evie didn't talk to her. 

Evie was chasing something that doesn't exist: normal. Bourne blends the "normal" with the special and what makes being a teenage girl particularly difficult. She also explored feminism and what is means for teens generally and individually. Each of the girls have to deal with boys and how they might compromise on their ideals and what that means for relationships. Evie, Lottie and Amber were all incredible and their discussions on what it means to be a feminist to each of them and how they dealt or might deal with the tough stuff was a strong message.

As for relationships, it took Evie a little too long to realise what most of us come to know as truth: boys are douches. Plain and simple. By attempting to be something she's not, Evie was dealt a pretty shitty hand when it came to boys but the important thing was that she learnt from it and although it was hard, she picked herself back up and trusted her friends to be there for her. 

This is quite easily Bourne's best novel yet. Might have been a tricky subject matter, but it was funny and heartbreaking and thought-provoking, and sometimes a little torturous; all I wanted was to give Evie a hug. Bourne tackles the tough subjects with sensitivity and balance and compassion, showing the hard stuff alongside the easy. A new favourite. 

Published 1st August 2015 by Usborne.